There Is No Dog

There Is No Dog

"What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home"
--Eric Bazillian, "One of Us"

"In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

"Only it wasn't as simple as that. The preferred candidate for God withdrew at the last minute saying he wanted to spend more time with his family, though privately everyone suspected he was having second thoughts. You couldn't really blame him. Earth was badly positioned -- miles off the beaten track in a lonely and somewhat run-down part of the universe. At a time of high employment, not many top-level candidates were willing to take on a tiny unproven planet, not to  mention the whole creation rigmarole, which, when done properly, could be a real headache."

And so it was that "at last one of the board members offered the job as part of a bet on a not-very-good game of poker. The winning player promptly turned it over to her feckless son, Bob."

Bob  (now God -- a sex-obsessed teenage God whose mind is rarely on his work-- all  that stuff he wrought in six days), is assisted in his duties by one of the unsuccessful candidates for the position, the long-suffering Mr. B, who  previously "had a solid but unexciting record in middle management" and who has  a "quiet, somewhat professorial manner."

"'Dear God,' she prays, 'I should like to fall in love.'"
"God  (who almost never bothers listening to his people)" hears the prayer of a  beautiful young assistant zookeeper named Lucy...and decides to answer it  himself.

"What a miracle! How much more than glorious! God, himself, is about to fall in love."

Apparently, this has happened before over the millennia. Mr. B. clues us in that, thanks to  Bob''s obsession with yet a another beautiful, young human, the weird weather and catastrophes are about to start all over again.  This satirical tale is so amazing.

"Why do we never get an answer when we're knocking at the door

With  a thousand million questions about hate and death and war?"
--  Justin Hayward, "Question"

Reading  THERE IS NO DOG will likely cause one to think about why is it, if there is a God, that life on Earth is so lacking in peace, love, and understanding. Why do such terrible things happen here -- some man-made, but so many others not so? Intertwining with the tale of Bob-God and his lust for Lucy are all the shenanigans taking  place behind the scenes with Bob and the other god-like characters that include  his insufferable, hard-drinking, gambling-addicted mother Mona; Bob's pet Eck  (the last of its species and an unforgettable character in its own right),  Estelle, the woman amongst the gods who actually wants to make the world right,  and the aforementioned Mr. B.

"What was it that made one transcendently beautiful girl different from another? Why did he begin to ache with helpless need when a certain face combined with a certain outline? What message ran from his bollocks to his brain to say. 'Yes!  It is she!'

"Even  God couldn't answer that one."

A  truly notable piece of young adult fiction, THERE IS NO DOG repeatedly had me  laughing aloud. It disturbed me in the very best sense of the word. 272 pages

Recommended by Richie  Partington, MLIS, Librarian, California, USA
Visit his blog at: Richie's Picks _


There is a group of supreme beings.  Through the loss of a bet by his mother, a teenage god named Bob becomes the god of earth. He has an assistant named Mr. B who tries to attend to the prayers of people on earth and to keep Bob in check.  Bob created everything and whenever he falls in or out of love, the environment on earth changes due to natural disasters.  He usually just wants to have sex with the girl that he falls in love with.   He falls in love with Lucy, a girl who works in the zoo.  Bob claims that this time he is in love for forever.  He wants to be with Lucy forever.   Bob’s selfishness makes him insensitive to the chaos that he has caused.  It’s interesting how the author handled the end of the book.
I highly recommend this book for mature readers only.  The characters are likeable and the situations are handled with sensitivity and humor.  
Submitted by
Karen Limbaugh, MLISRetired High School Librarian Texas USA

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