In this empowering picture book, Miriam navigates her confusion about an unprovoked kiss--finding her voice and using it to assert her personal boundaries.
Miriam is so surprised when her friend Connor kisses her that she doesn't know how to react. Not sure what to do, she turns to the people around her--her best friend, the recess monitor, her teacher--but everyone has a different reaction and advice for Miriam. It's not until she gets home and talks with her mom that Miriam stops to ask herself how she feels about Connor's kiss.
With simple text and expressive illustrations, Connor Kissed Me introduces young readers to consent and bodily autonomy in plain terms: always ask someone if it's okay to kiss or hug, and listen if they say no!---from the publisher
40 pages 978-1643791180 Ages 4-7
Keywords: consent, boundaries, finding your voice, dealing with feelings, dealing with emotions, hugs and kisses, understanding others, respecting others, self respect, 4 year old, 5 year old, 6 year old, 7 year old, Social Emotional Learning
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“Oh, kiss me, beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me”
– Sixpence None the Richer (1999)
“#MeToo is a social movement and awareness campaign against sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and rape culture, in which people publicize their experiences of sexual abuse or sexual harassment.”
– Wikipedia
As many of us know, shared kisses between consenting teens or adults can be indescribably wonderful and memorable experiences. But the key to such pleasure is mutual consent.
“‘Connor kissed me,’ I tell my friend Emily.
She says, ‘Ew!’
‘Connor kissed me,’ I tell my recess monitor.
She says, ‘Go play somewhere else.’
‘Connor kissed me,’ I tell my teacher.
She says, ‘Hmmm…maybe we’ll move your seat.’”
I just returned from a festive birthday eve dinner with my grandkids. The eldest is a ten-and-a-half year old boy. The other two are seven-year-old boy and girl twins.
Before we began celebrating, I found a quiet spot to sit with them in order to read aloud CONNOR KISSED ME, a notable book about consent.
“‘Connor kissed me,’ I tell my mother.
She asks, ‘Did you want him to, Miriam?’
I say, ‘NO!’
‘Well, then,’ Mom says, ‘you need to say that to Connor.’”
This is a straightforward and powerful read. It is conveyed in an exceptionally clear manner. I reinforced the reading with a brief conversation, but it was quite evident that the simple message was fully understood by all three.
Unfortunately, not all kids have a mom like Miriam’s. Mom is a grownup who understands the need to teach children about consent and about speaking up, an adult who doesn’t try to excuse the behavior, or act as if the girl shares the blame for the situation.
If it were up to me, CONNOR KISSED ME would be shared with all elementary students. Having heard from women who are dear to me about everything from being physically forced by a husband into a car to go somewhere against her will, to teens being date raped, I believe that parents and educators should actively deal with this important issue.
I strongly encourage you to add this book to your collection and either read it aloud, or explain its importance to teachers so that they share it with their classes, and immediately act upon such situations that arise.
Enough is enough. #MeToo
Recommended by: Richie Partington, MLIS, California USA
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