Mr. Gum is a lazy, old man who picks his nose and eats it. His house is a mess, and he never even makes his bed. By "makes" I mean "assembles the parts." In contrast, his yard is pristine, because if he doesn't keep it in good order, a fairy appears and whacks him with a frying pan. Then, one day, Jake the dog, appears and decides to do his various businesses in Mr. Gum's yard. A battle ensues. This is very much written in a Lemony Snicket style of romping along in a seemingly random series of unfortunate events.